Remember in Blazing Saddles, when Madeleine Kahn sings, "I'm so tired...."?
My new theme song. Busy work, busy home, busy holiday weekend, "no rest for the wicked," as my mom would say.
Now, what I'm wondering is, just how tired does one have to be before one is officially, "exhausted," and, if one indeed has passed from "tiredness" into "exhaustion," who makes the call that one needs to be checked into the hospital for that condition? Is there an exhaustometer they test you on in the ER?
And, once one is admitted for "exhaustion," how in the world is one supposed to cure that in a hospital, of all places? Because hospitals are busy, noisy places, and on the few occasions I have been a patient in one, or even a visitor in one, they are NOT restful places. Is there really such a place in a hospital as The Quiet Room, maybe?
I've known a lot of tired, exhausted people (myself, new parents, people caring for very ill loved ones, people working 15-hour days, or weird shifts, medical residents, etc.) and not one of them has qualified for hospital admittance. Ever. Ever.
How could it work, then?
I mean, would I say to myself: I am exhausted. I'm too tired to think or move. I think I'll go to the hospital so I can resume my chaotic life asap.
Or, would one's spouse or other family member say: Huh, you are exhausted. You're not taking care of us like you should. Let us take you to the hospital so you can get back to cooking dinner.
Or, would my co-workers look at me and say: Wow, you look like crap, and you haven't completed any of the stuff we told you to do. Let's call 911 and get you in the hospital so you can get your work done.
And, how do so many celebrities end up "hospitalized for exhaustion"? Just for fun, I Googled that phrase, and immediately found half a dozen people who'd been stricken with the malady just this summer! Mariah Carey!? Jennifer Garner!? Ruben Studdard!? Lindsay-I-have-worse-problems-than-exhaustion-Lohan!? Isaac-Hayes-the-voice-of-Chef-on-South-Park!? All admitted! All exhausted!
I'm hopin' for a quiet hour and a glass of wine on the patio at my parents' over the weekend.
How about you? How are you thinkin' you'll get your quiet moment this weekend?