Friday, September 21, 2007

About the names of things

Because last night I turned around in an addition called "Watersong," and I thought that was really pretty, but had a feeling this addition was as poorly named as most additions in our area.
I'm guessing it was built in a former farm field. And if there's any water there now, it's from a retention pond. If there was water there before, it was a swampy mosquito-infested wetland. The "song" part might be a little more realistic--probably a bird or two visited.
Now, the addition behind us is called Deerfield, and it's an older one--built 30 years or so ago. I bet it was fairly realistically named back in the day, because when we first moved to the area 20 years ago, deer did roam in a field nearby, herds of them.
That field (and the deer) have long since been replace by several additions with "Westchester" in their names--note, we are nowhere near Great Britain--and a school called Deer Ridge Elementary, now is the only "deer" in the area.
Down the highway is my personal favorite, an addition called "Falls of Beaver Creek." I'm sure you can guess this one: No falls. No beaver. No creek. This is northern Indiana, astute readers -- any falls there existed before the last glacier melted. That is, not counting the fake falls built by the developer, which have not been working this summer, anyway. Beaver--vacated the last century, habitat long gone. Creek--now a drainage ditch. I vote for renaming it, the Dry Fake Falls of No Beaver Ditch.
Oh, I must tell you, I do have a little pet name for this one, you know how easy it is to get one's beginning consonants mixed up! "Balls of Fever Creek."
Here's another couple of favorites: "Pine Valley." Valley!? Now, maybe in the way-back machine there was a pine or two here--and residents have since planted more--but, geography buds, the "valley" has never been more than a sand trap near the club house.
Oh, how about this: Red Cedar Canyon! I can hardly type THAT one! NO CEDARS, RED OR OTHERWISE. NO CANYON. (See note about "valley," above.)
Just one more: Eagle Creek. NO EAGLES. NO CREEK.
We are going to lobby for full disclosure in addition naming. We are volunteering to help developers name their new additions in a realistic manner! Yes! Here's some free samples developers can choose from:
Lookalike Beige Boxes In a Former Corn Field.
Corners of Drained Farm Field.
Stripped-Away Woods Behind Former Farmhouse.
Really Flat Featureless Land of Covington Road.
Boring House Rows of Farm Field Place.
Homesteads of No Eagles, No Canyon, No Bluff, No Falls.
Well, how 'bout you? What's your addition named?

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