About O.J. Simpson

Which is not a very pleasant way to wake up, as I'm sure you're aware.

And since better writers than I already have blogged this much funnier results (Scott Adams») I will not beat the subject with a black leather glove.

But, then, if thinking about O.J. is a bad way to wake up ... what are worse ways?

Well, I could have woken up as O.J., in handcuffs in a jail somewhere, with no bail set, because it sucks to be him. Explain this one to the kids, O.J.

I could I have woken up as Bruce Fromong, the guy in the hotel room that O.J. was trying to get his stuff back from, although, on second, I might be feeling pretty good right now. Because not only did Bruce not get shot during that aggressively friendly little intrusion, but, if O.J. would get convicted of THIS one, he would be a party in putting The Juice in jail for up to 30 years, making the Brown and Goldman families pretty happy, I'm sure.

I could have woken up as a Las Vegas police officer, like Lt. Clint Nichols. Because what else but trouble can a big celebrity arrest be, when you're already busy trying to corral all those Red Hat Ladies in buses? Plus corruption and stuff!

I could have woken up as Simpson's attorney, like Yale Galanter, who is probably wishing a) he was with Johnny Cochran right now, or b) that Johnny Cochran was with him.

So, see? Now that I've put it in perspective, it's not so bad wakin' up and just thinkin' about O.J. Because I got up and was just ME.

Well, how about you? What celebrity did you wake up thinkin' about this morning?

P.S. I'm also glad I didn't wake up as Britney Spears.