It's one of those weird weeks where we feel like we hear about one person after another being struck with a Dread Disease.
A second cousin's sarcoma has spread. A doctor at Ang's work had surgery for a brain tumor today. A senior friend must have a mastectomy next week. You know that kind of stretch.
So, naturally, one thinks a little about one's own possible outcomes.
My dad, in his 80s, got a little obsessed last year about having an "advanced directive" in place. You know, you direct your loved ones to pull the plug asap if you should fall into some type of coma. I have my directives from him in spades.
But, I had to agree with him. Who wants to linger in a coma? BORING!
But my directive to my loved ones will probably be a little different from his.
My loved ones will have to answer three questions:
Can she move her eyes?
Can she follow TV?
Can she listen to an iPod?
Notice that eating nor moving is a part of this list. I mean, when you've spent the better part of a year losing 50 pounds, eating, much loved and necessary as it is, also becomes something of a burden--"Am I eating the right thing? Am I eating too much of this? How many calories have I had today?" I mean, it's been a couple years since I did it, and I'm still tired of worrying so much about what I eat.
Ditto moving. I'm a lazy ass anyway. And exercising, which I've learned is oh so necessary to my anti-obesity crusade, is alien to my being. But I force myself to do it anyway. The temptation of not doing it is ... enticing.
But reading--now that is vital to my very being. I don't ever think about not reading. Ever since I was 9. Reading is breathing, eating, thinking, being, living. I love to read the most of all.
So ... if I couldn't move ... could I listen to digital books? Can I watch movies on TV? See where my questions are takin' my love ones? Can I, somehow, read?
And why everybody's questions for their loved ones would be different? Because, for example, if you hated to read but loved to smoke, my questions would be useless to you! Because reading about somebody smoking--or watching them smoke on TV--is just is not going to cut it for a smoker. You'd be wantin' the plug jerked.
So, that leads into, what about your questions? What's important to you?