About, well, my hair

Okay, before the girlie stuff I'll tell you what I'm thinkin' about a few sports headlines. Sean Taylor: probably knew who shot him. Packers/Cowboys on NFL Network: sorry you don't get it, we do, it was a beautiful HD picture. Cowboys wore legacy jerseys. Indians signing Japanese pitcher: just don't break the bank. Helio: I thought he was a suave and sophisticated Indy car driver, but now I know he's just a goofy hoofer.
Now, down to business: I am asking girls everywhere for advice, because why can't I keep my hair the color I want it?
I mean, we visited friends last night, and a MALE FRIEND says to me, your hair is lighter! And I wanted to crawl under the sofa, because I'm been meaning to recolor for two weeks and haven't taken the time, and since it's fall I don't even have the "I've been out in the sun" excuse. And my hair's worse problem is not the roots ... it's the way the color keeps getting lighter!
So my hair in my youth was a pretty much dark brown with red highlights in the sun. Then middle age set in and gray encroached, and the drabness convinced me that Miss Clairol was the way to go. And I've been best friends with her for five years or so.
But no matter what brand of color I use (and I've tried many besides ole Miss), no matter what expensive hair-color-preserving shampoo and conditioner I buy, no matter I spray special color-preserving UV spray on, no matter what, even when I pick out exactly the right medium-brown color I want and it looks great to start, it ends up after a few weeks looking like a light reddish brown. Really light.
And GUYS -- not girls -- start asking me if my hair is lighter! The friend the other night was not the first!
I think my hair is really porous and soaks up the color but then it also vomits it out, is what I think.
I have been doing it myself, so one of my questions is: do salons really use a better quality color, and it is really worth over $50 versus under $10?
And, is there a shampoo/conditioner/special treatment that really works for you?
Or have you given up and just (oh, God!) gone natural?
Let me know what you're thinkin' about how Miss Clairol treats you.